Leo’s Birth Story- 14.5.21
Born at 41+1 - Spontaneous labour, ventouse assisted birth.
On the morning Tuesday the 13th, at exactly 41 weeks, I went to my midwife appointment, this time at the hospital for monitoring as I was ‘overdue’. Despite being well aware that the average gestation for a first time mum is actually 41+3, I was surprised at how emotionally overwhelmed I felt and pressured to be induced. I had been experiencing some period pain cramping on and off the past two days but nothing significant or consistent.
From the monitoring they informed me that the baby was doing fine (placenta intact and amniotic fluid levels adequate) and it was based on this information that I decided to decline induction, putting my faith in my body and baby, trusting that they knew when to birth. I had been to see my acupuncturist and chiropractor the day before and they had both reassured me that everything was primed and the baby would come when they were ready and the best thing I could do was just to relax (easier said than done for sure but wise advice!)
I went about my day that Tuesday, still experiencing some cramping that was very subtly building in intensity. I popped some clary sage on a cloth and began inhaling the scent whenever I felt some discomfort. Looking back now, I think this was definitely early labor but I didn’t really pay much attention to it, probably not wanting to get my hopes up and determined to just ‘act normal’. I didn’t even really say anything to Shane because I figured these sensations could likely go on for days.
Around mid afternoon I had this overwhelming sense that it was happening. Shane and I went to pick his son, Max, up from school and I casually mentioned we should aim to get him to bed early that night. I just had this intense feeling that once my mind knew Max was in bed asleep that things were going to amp up… and I was right! Throughout the early evening I bounced on my birth ball, inhaling my clary sage and for the most part, able to interact normally. I timed the surges intermittently, mainly just out of curiosity, but as no patterns or consistency were emerging I decided not to bother.
At around 9pm, once Max was asleep, I told Shane he too should get some sleep as I thought he might need it. Dubiously and a little confused, Shane went to sleep. He was even more confused when my screams woke him only 20 minutes later!
It really felt like once I mentally felt like everyone was taken care of and was able to fully surrender to the sensations that something just clicked and it was on.
From that point onwards it kind of felt like an out of body experience. Despite my mental preparation I felt overcome with the intensity of the surges, that seemed to go from 0-100 quite quickly and looked to Shane for comfort and reassurance. I had written him a little cheat sheet of things I wanted him to remind me of when I was struggling, so he started reading them to me. He reminded me this was what my body was designed to do, that these surges served a purpose and I was capable of handling them. I wasn’t so sure- and started pleading with him that I needed to get to the hospital immediately because I’d changed my mind and wanted an epidural ASAP. Haha!
I’m beyond grateful for Shane believing in me as he kept us aligned with our plan when I was quite prepared to throw it all out the window- and kept telling him as such! I think it shocked both of us how quickly I succumbed to the surges and lost my resolve but thankfully by employing some of our hypnobirthing techniques I was able to labor at home for the next 6 hours! It definitely wasn’t easy. I hopped in the shower on all fours, crawled around our bedroom on all fours and leaned over my birth ball. Shane played tranquil chambers in the background and started counting to 30 during my contractions so I had something to focus on. I repeated the affirmation “ I can do anything for one minute” in my head every time.
Around 4am we ventured into the hospital. I was feeling very emotional and weak by this stage (as I’d been vomiting a lot) I told the midwife who greeted us that I couldn’t do this anymore and I wanted an epidural now. The midwife asked Shane what our preferences were and he informed her this would not be a part of the plan. Thankfully, she then proposed she do a quick check to see how far along I was before we made any decisions. I had convinced myself I’d probably only be 1-2cms and given this was my first baby, the midwife warned me not to be disheartened if I was. Imagine our surprise when she told me I was 8cms and she could feel our baby’s head! The relief honestly flooded over me and I felt like I was able to regroup a little- I was so proud and it gave me incentive to keep going.
The next couple of hours I decided to use the gas to ride out the contractions, kneeling over the top of the bed. I will never forget the noises I was making during these contractions and I don’t think Shane will either! I don’t feel like the gas gave me much relief, but it definitely gave me something to focus on and ensured that I kept breathing deeply. With some convincing I moved to the shower briefly, where I think my waters must have broken as I started to get the urge to push.
The pushing phase was truly the most physically exhausting thing I'll ever do. The exertion it requires is on another level and after 10 hours of labor and no sleep- it’s like sprinting at the end of a marathon. I had read the book “Birth Skills” by Juju Sudjen and she speaks of pushing using a ‘coffee plunger’ analogy. I began to visualise this with each push and in my head I kept repeating the word ‘down’ or ‘down and out’. Shane tried to encourage me to roll onto all fours, as I had ended up on my back and he knew this wasn’t ideal positioning but the fatigue was paralysing and I didn’t think I could move even if I tried.
Rather suddenly the room filled up with people- the head midwife, a doctor & two pediatricians with a resuscitation cot. The doctor told me that I’d been pushing for some time and as a consequence my baby was getting tired and his heartbeat had been dropping with each contraction. She told me his head was right there, but he needed some assistance and advised me she would recommend using the ventouse and would therefore need to give me an episiotomy. Knowing I didn’t want this and sensing my vulnerability, Shane interjected that we would be happy for the ventouse to be used but that we didn’t want an episiotomy. After a brief debate the doctor agreed to proceed with the ventouse but warned me that I would have to follow her instructions carefully about when to push and when to pause.
At 9.41am our little Leo was born into the world, weighing 3.8kilos and 54cms long. I was SO relieved he was out and SO exhausted I honestly didn’t think I could even hold him. He was placed straight onto my chest and stared intently into my eyes as I bawled! The doctor quickly gave me a couple of external stitches for some minor grazing whilst we lay utterly in awe of each other.
He stayed on my chest for the next hour or so, we had our first breastfeed and then he had some skin to skin with Shane. My only regret is not having a photographer to take more photos during this time and even of the birth itself- a concept I never understood before going through it but it’s all such a blur!
I am SO glad that we did hypnobirthing but even more glad that Shane took on such an active part and advocated so bravely (and firmly!) for our choices when I wasn’t able to. I hated the idea of Shane feeling helpless as a passive observer on the sidelines. I really believe that educating ourselves about what to expect helped Shane in particular, as he didn’t fear what I was going through and this gave him confidence and strength that ultimately carried us both through the process. I truly can’t imagine how the birth would have turned out without his presence and would encourage all birth partners to really engage with the course and not underestimate how crucial their role is in the birth space.
Chloe Thornton is an AHPRA Registered Midwife, Registered Nurse, Birth Mentor and Hypnobirthing Australia™ Certified Practitioner.
She provides group classes virtually to families across the country each month and also has a small number of spaces available for private bespoke sessions online or in-person. She can be contacted by email at chloelouisethornton@outlook.com.
You can learn more about her Hypnobirthing Australia™ classes here.