Birth Story - Nicole & Doug’s Homebirth
On Friday 29 May around 11.30pm I was lying in bed reading and messaging a girlfriend when I started to feel some cramps. I was 40+4 at that point and not holding my breath since my firstborn Anika came at 37+6 and clearly this baby was quite happy cooking away. I was pretty skeptical and said to myself - I'm going to test this and take Panadol, move around and see if it passes. Panadol did nothing and the cramps distracted me from trying to fall asleep. (Doug my husband was asleep in the guest room. We'd been sleeping separately to avoid waking each other because he snores and we wanted to stock up on rest before the big day.)
Pretty soon it became clear that these were contractions, the real deal. They were immediately so close together, 1-3 minutes apart and a decent length of time for each surge. I stayed in my room alone and focused on my CalmBirth breathing and timing my contractions. I figured I'd let Doug get all the rest he could as he would need it. By 1.30am I woke him up and he stayed with me as the surges continued, taking over timing it on the app so I could focus on myself more. It was pretty intense how immediately they were so intense. With my last birth it would have taken several hours to get to that frequency and intensity. It was full on and sometimes I needed a break and lay on the bed but writhing away made it worse, so I kept getting onto all fours or kneeling against the bedhead or wall. At one point I was crawling on the floor while I made these really guttural roaring sounds, Doug said it was really primal. I remember kneeling on the bed beside him exhausted and almost in tears in shock from how quickly this was ramping up. He started to set things up around the house and I had to call him back a few times to be with me as I got scared whenever he left the room. We decided it was time to call our doula (Claire Wyborn). I had no idea of the time and nor did I want to know.
Next thing I knew she was sitting beside me holding my hand, taking turns to set up the living room and be with me. I kept getting hot flushes and felt my pulse racing from all the surges and took my t shirt off and kept asking for cold towels. I wanted a dim space but not totally blacked out so we kept the hallway light on and door open to let a bit of light in.
I heard them talking saying it was time to call our midwife. All the while I kept focusing on my breathing and playing Birth Bliss by Anna Urbanski. I'd been listening to her meditations before my afternoon naps for weeks and had really gotten into the zone every time. Her voice is so calming and hypnotic that even if I wasn't consciously listening to her words, I latched onto her voice and also the music. I told myself just to focus on that and nothing else. I could hear our midwife walking into the house saying "Well it sounds like we're having a baby soon!"
At some point I remember being hesitant to leave my bedroom. It reminded me of my last birth where people really needed to convince me to get up and find the energy to walk from the assessment suite to the birth suite. Walking a short distance to a change in environment seemed like a massive physical effort. Doug encouraged me reminding me that I said I wanted encouragement to change positions and that walking to the living room where the birth pool was ready would really help. And so with his and Claire's help I made my way out of our room, and I got undressed and stepped into the pool.
The water was glorious. I felt so light and felt those intensity of the surges disappear immediately. My body sagged with relief. I knelt on the side of the pool and leaned over and enjoyed the warmth. Pretty soon I felt the urge to push. I didn't feel a burn like with my last birth, just a firm but gentle and manageable weight as I started to push. I'd go so far to say that it was like a deep relaxing massage! I felt comfortable doing what I was doing and at some point asked Sam my midwife if I was doing it right, just to be sure. She said I was doing beautifully. Doug was beside me on the outside of the pool but I remember every one else, the midwives and doula being behind me and I felt like I had support yet privacy at the same time.
Soon people were telling me that the head was on the way out, and I got gentle encouragement to keep doing what I was doing. I loved that it wasn't coached pushing. Sam asked if I wanted to feel the baby's head, which I did. "It's got hair?!?!" I exclaimed laughing, surprised as my daughter had none when I felt her head in labour. There was minimal talking in the room, and after a couple more deep pushes, the midwife told me to reach down and catch my baby. This was it.
It was sheer relief holding the baby, all slippery, and sitting down and leaning back. "It's finally here!" I couldn't help repeating happily while crying. All the worry of the last few weeks, changing my birth plan and chasing down what we wanted, all that worry was replaced with a big rushing relief. "I'm so glad we found you" I said to our midwives. It was so empowering reaching down to catch my baby and pull it onto me.
We were having a surprise finding out the sex of the baby and Doug asked if I wanted to find out but I held off, saying I just wanted to look at it for a while and take it all in, take my time. I gazed into it's squishy little face. A few minutes later I agreed and we lifted the towel. It was a beautiful boy. "You have a son" I said to Doug. We were happy to have a boy or girl regardless but at the same time the surprise of finding out there and then was amazing. I finally looked at the clock on the wall. "Oh my god it's only 4.45am!!!" I exclaimed, amazed that it took only 5 hours. My first labour took 16. Everyone says the second labour is shorter and I'd hoped it would be in the single digits, that I would be seriously happy with 6 hours. I managed 5 this time. It felt like an achievement.
When I began to get cold I moved onto the couch, soaking in that golden hour. He was perfect. And so tiny. It had been 18 months, a pretty short time since my first kid but still, it was a reminder just how small, precious and so innocent they are.
I tried to pee and expel my placenta but it wasn’t happening. With gentle coughing, the placenta still wasn't coming out. Not even an in out catheter did the trick. Pretty soon the midwife said she was concerned, that my blood loss was just on normal but she felt an injection was needed to get the placenta out. A tiny part of me felt deflated as last time I managed to birth the placenta naturally, after an intervention free labour. She assured me that this didn't take away from the fact that I laboured and birthed naturally and intervention free; that the injection was merely to contract the womb to get the placenta out. And so I consented and it soon was expelled. It was a relief as I didn't want to come all this way with a beautiful home birth to end up in hospital without my support people. I was also pretty pleased with the fact that yet again I emerged without any tears or injuries. A water birth is so much more relaxing on the body.
It was magical watching the sun rise and light coming into the living room as we spent time meeting our son. Doug and Claire went about making me breakfast and making cups of tea for everyone while I kicked back. Around 7am the midwives left us and Claire and Doug continued to clear up the living room. Anika our daughter would be waking soon at her usual 8.30/9am. Once the room was clear, Doug went into her room to get her and watching her walk out to me holding her brother was pretty special. (Even though she was more interested in her brekkie before she focused on him, haha! Priorities.)
Once Doug and I were showered and refreshed (the baby did his first poo on his dad), Claire left, and we went about our normal Saturday, only it was made more magical starting as a family of four.
The end, and just the beginning 💓
(Side note - I felt so much relief because it had been a fairly stressful third trimester, changing my birth plan from hospital to home, because of Covid 19’s restrictions on support people in labour. I couldn’t fathom choosing between my doula or husband or worse, having restrictions change yet again and have no one with me, as my doctor had warned. It took continuous effort and time to find the right midwife who wouldn’t let the fact that I was epileptic and “higher risk” (albeit under control with medication and seizure free for years) stop me from the right to choose how I birth, and the right GP who would also feel the same, and sign my referral. There was always a tiny fear in the back of my mind, what if this is all taken away from me. I went from being scared of having a premature baby and needing to birth in hospital, to being a bit anxious with a longer gestation, and needing the hospital for a birth. I did think of homebirth fleetingly but was engulfed in being pregnant with a toddler and didn’t think to look into it further until my husband brought it up, with the possibility of not having our ideal support system in hospital.
While I don’t define my birth story by covid 19, I can’t ignore that this tough climate somehow ended up giving me a silver lining, my home birth experience, that I learnt about with Anika but too late; and kind of on autopilot went along with a hospital plan this time around. A water birth as I previously wanted was also not allowed by the hospital as I am epileptic. I could easily have caved and resigned myself to the fact that this whole upheaval of Covid 19 was bigger than me, I am so proud of the fact I relentlessly chased what I wanted and it worked out. I suppose some times if things are meant to be, they come to you and for that I am immensely grateful.)
